Stephanie Zhou’s Accordion Girl Essay

There once was a poor little girl who played the accordion for money because of the Great Depression. This is the exciting story I am going to tell you.

It was a chilly and windy day when the little girl dressed in only a short shirt, a puny jacket and a pair of ripped up jeans. If you just peek at her you could see she was poor.

When the school bell rang, the little girl hurried to the side of the school and sat on a rusty chair, picked up an old accordion and put a can on the ground. Then she started playing wonderful music that attracted many people but she only earned a few coins.

After many hours of playing, she got up, took the can and walked down a narrow road with a big smile on her face because when she looked down in the can there were 5 GOLD coins! She knew they were worth a lot.

So after a walk to home she gave the can to her parents but all they could say was “Wow Alice!” They gave each other a big hug. From that day on they lived a happy peaceful life.

Comments: This is a pretty sophisticated essay! The sentences are complex. There is good detail–notice how much we know about the girl’s clothing. The plot is simple, but the girl is very virtuous. When she has her miraculous good fortune–the result of hard work and effort–she immediately turns over her reward to her parents. A lovely story, isn’t it?